Aghô Milagrin, Khell nachotta mugo, tum ienam ghô? Milagrin, the Khell is going on, aren’t you coming?

Milagrin rushes into the house, nearly tripping over those majestic steps, arms outstretched, body quivering with bottled up excitement.

‘Okhol baie, okhol baie she shouts out noisily. ‘Inás eila’

The Okhol bai, Luisa Maria who is from the North replies in measured tones,

‘Milagrina kitem zalam ghô? Kiteak itleia odlean uloitai ghô?’

Milagrin, lowers her voice, ‘Okhol baie, Inás eila’ and giggles and fidgets.

‘Milagrina kitem zai ghô taka?’

Milagrin is by now exasperated, doesn’t this woman know, that coming Sunday is Carnaval’?

Doesn’t this philistine of a woman realise that Inás comes only because the first Khell of the season should be staged at the residence of Senhor Ornelas das Angústias Carmo Vaz, her husband, the Regedor of the village?

But Milagrin knows that the Okhol bai is a hot tempered woman, so in restrained tones, meant only for the village madman, Socorr she explains.

‘Okhol baie, Inás eila, kiteak teghelo khell nachpak ietolo, aitara dissa, Carnavalak’

Then it dawns on Luisa Maria, this was the same pestilence of the khell as last year.  Inás had brought his troupe, his raucous brass band and multitudes of people had entered her garden, had trampled her precious roses.

She wondered every year, what was so great about the khell that drove everyone to frenzy...

‘Ornelas, Ornelas she bawled in great agitation, Ornelas!!’

Ornelas who was in deep discussion with his Padekar, Agnel, could not believe his ears. Luisa Maria was actually yelling at the top of her voice that too in front of Agnel.

But he was a cool person, being the Regedor of the village helped him keep his decorum at all times and in all possible situations.

‘Sim, Maria Luisa, o que é? Porque  estás tão agitada?’

‘Ornelas o Inás está aqui?

‘E?’

‘ No domingo vem aqui, com o seu khell, ‘Tuka Muji Niddukai Kiteak?’

‘Luisa Maria, ele vem todos os anos, sou Regedor dessa aldeia’

Luisa Maria  on the verge of tears, ‘Ano passado amachucaram as minhas roseiras. A Cardinal e a La France foram salvas pela Jakin mãe. Agora...’

At that moment, Ornelas realises how much the roses mean to Luisa Maria, last year she and Jakin mãe had worked very hard to resurrect the broken plants, so...

‘Milagrin, Insak sang durga bhair ambea ponak nacchoi mun tegelo khell.

Ani Insak sang zaitim kataram, borim kantaram udoi munnon.

Tem Tappa, tappa zai, mak tem borem disota and he winks at Emilia who turns a deep red, glaring at the audacity of Ornelas.

Ornelas found Inás extremely talented, drifting into scandalous songs so beautifully. He had tried to explain to Luisa Maria that these ditties were supposed to be insulting, picking on every weakness and exposing them in song.

They were supposed to be ribald, and they brought all sorts of liaisons out in the open.

Ornelas, reminded Luisa Maria of the cantigas de escárnio e maldizer, they were similar he explained.

But…  said Luisa Maria it’s not the same

‘Why, Luisa Maria? You mean because that is in Portuguese and these ditties are in Konkani?

Actually, Ornelas cared a f%^&* if Maria Luisa understood them or not, he found Inás extremely gifted.  

Take the case of last year, Inás, had composed a new song.

‘Tappa, Tappa korun paper xapota

Sangpa gelear loz disotta

Pedrughê cheddum handkan appol vikita

Tek choin Anton disco nachotta’

Luisa Maria was totally baffled, why was everyone in peals of laughter including her dull daughter-in-law Sharon.

After the laughter had died down, she had asked that Sharon...

‘Porque é que todos estão a rir Sharon? Se a mulher vende maçãs deve ser pobre não?

Sharon went into further gales of laughter...

‘Mãe she laughed even more, whilst Luisa Maria looked at her in arrogance, to think that even this colourless daughter-in-law of hers had understood and she had not...

‘Mãe, não são maçãs de comer’ and she controlled her laughter as Luisa Maria was glaring at her menacingly; São’ and she touched her own breasts delicately.

Luisa Maria just walked out from the yard in anger, how gross, how utterly crass could these people from South get and look at Ornelas laughing, wiping his eyes.

At the end of the show, he pressed some notes into Inás’ palm.

‘Naka Badkara, naka ...’

‘Asdhi rhê, tuvem maka pott bhôr ansoilo’

And Inás thinks with a wife like that who could laugh, and that too pott bhôr

Luisa Maria could never understand why Ornelas loved those khell or zagor songs so much.

In her opinion, the khell was a coarse affair, ribald songs, mockery of the badkars, criticism of priests and their supposed gluttony, there she agreed, these people of the South, thought of food all the time.

The first greeting in the morning was ‘Nisteak kit mellam ghô?’

Her own Mother in law, spent hours with Jakin mãe planning the Menu of the day, what discussions the two had, what arguments they had about food.

In her home, food was of course cooked but it never was a topic of discussion, food was there to sustain the body that was its function. Hmmm, what a waste of time.

Of course, she also knew about the cognomen the family had, ‘Motteleangher’

One of Ornelas’ uncle, Cônego Circumsição Melchiades Angústias do Carmo Vaz, who at home and out of respect was called Ti Padre Cônego, loved his food.

Legend had it that he had finished an entire Bebinca in just one sitting.

Luisa Maria never had the courage to ask if he had died after eating the Bebinca, she had heard rumours that he being a diabetic, had.

Some, má línguas had insinuated that there had been ants all around his coffin. Maria Luisa could not believe her husband’s family had such ‘healthy appetites, ‘as her Mother in law liked to call it.

‘Healthy appetites’ my foot, disgusting, ants crawling, ughh…she shuddered at the thought.

All the village girls and women so excited, rushing about, planning their clothes, if time permitted a trip to the town to get identical fabric for all the members of the family,

 ‘Okhol baie, ek gharantlim munn kolonk naka?’

Hair oiled into buns adorned with flowers, talcum powder lavishly. It was so exciting much more than Christmas.

‘Aghô Milagrin, Inás khell kadta ghô?

‘Oi murê hoddea, eilolo Regedor Bakra sangpak’

‘Avoi, avoi, tesh zalear tum tea baxen’

‘Sangotta!’

Fast forward a good twenty years...

The Regedor no longer exists; the Sarpanch has now taken his place but is an actor himself. He has a beautiful sense of humour.

Of great importance is the fact that the Bhadkar does not feature in any of the plays. After all the badkars are now caricatures, people of the past.

Priests are now portrayed as other worldly creatures, pious and extremely righteous; sadly anyone who watches a smidgen of T. V would know that it is absolutely not true although we wish from the very bottom of our souls that it were so.

New genres have sprung up, Adultery, Greed, and a certain je ne sais quoi.

Take this ‘parti’ as one of the segments of a Khell is known.

A khell is usually composed of three partis totally unrelated, unlike a Tiatr which consists of a main story with various sub-plots thrown in to relieve the flatness of the main story.

Facyll leads a terrible life married to Snivio.

Every day the mother-in-law Mari Santan insults her, curses her, wishes she would fall into the nearest well, die under a fast moving train, that way her precious Snivio could marry a nice girl and have wonderful children.

‘Oh Mari Santan, borem mugo, tughê Snivio ghello ghô?’

‘Oi ghello’

‘Attam bab etollo’

‘Babb, padd porunk, amghê goreak gailam, tek anim bhurgem zaina’

But Snivio and Facyll love each other deeply and despite having no children and even if Mari Santan is a virago par excellence they manage four years of married life.

 Everyone urges them ‘go to a doctor’

‘Nam says Mari Santan, mughe cheddo bôil, tekha dá bhurgim zaupachim. Tek tem mella num?’ ‘Tem vazzudem’

‘My son is as virile as Quistod’s Bull. There is absolutely no need. It is this barren woman’s fault.’

Even Snivio’s vagrant brother, Rexon, urges his brother, ‘Irmão go men, maybe some treatment will help you ...both’, he adds hurriedly when he sees his Mother’s dark glare.

Rexon, the vagrant gambles heavily, anything will do cards, matka, tablam and best of all bets placed on Quistod’s Bull during the bull fights, dirío.

‘Mai ghê 10 rupia dhi mughe’

Rexon, pleads for money, every time, irritating every family member,

‘Give men only ten rupees will return, as soon as I get the winning number for matka.’

‘Bhash bor, khorso mughe dore mukhailo, dordillo’ says JakBosteão the father

He does win sometimes but that money goes towards bets placed on Quistod’s Bull.

Many times he beseeches Facyll,

‘Give men, why are you such f@#&* kanjoos men, you earn nicely working as a teacher no?’ ‘Snivio not sending you money?’

Sometimes Facyll does give some money tired of all that disgusting pleading, truth be told, she does like Snivio, he can be quite funny at times and boy does he have a rakish air. Always a pretty girl in very tight jeans on his bike.

‘Arre khon rhê tem?’

‘Time pass Mãe, just time pass’

And Mari Santan smiles indulgently, 

Everything is fine, if of course you can consider it fine living with Mari Santan and her insults, humiliations.

Mari Santan at times does not rest until she has humiliated Facyll to such an extent that Facyll has now been reduced to sad person with nothing to look forward to.

The situation for Facyll is aggravated because Snivio spends a great deal of time on the ship where he works as a bartender.

Despite all the misery Facyll and Snivio lead a decent life.
On one occasion when  Facyll’s father, Rosario, comes for a visit, he is absolutely horrified to hear Mari Santan berating Facyll in that terrible, terrible way.

When Snivio returns from the ship, he urges them to go to a Doctor, but Snivio refuses. Now Rosario, realises Facyll needs support and love, so whenever he has time he comes over to visit his daughter.

Although he urges them repeatedly to consult a doctor it falls on deaf ears.

On one such instance when Rosario is at Facyll’s house, Facyll talking to him and laughing at some joke, collapses in a dead faint.

Everyone rushes and the Doctor is brought in, a brief examination, and the doctor pronounces, beamingly,

‘Good news Mari Santan, Facyll is pregnant, you are going to be a grandmother.’

‘Pregnant? Grandmother?’

There is a lot of screeching, talking, laughter,

‘Is this possible?’

‘Of course says Facyll’

‘Of course, like Mãe always says, my Snivio is a bull who can beget ten children, once he just pounced on me in frenzy and...’She blushes deeply

Snivio just looks on and says not a word.

Mari Santan a very happy woman, happy to have a grandson at last, takes Facyll aside and says tell me,

‘Whose is this child’? Tell me...Tell me... I will not open my mouth. Tell me, just me.

Facyll looks down and says ‘Rexon’, Mari Santan is hugely relieved, does not blame Facyll for leading her precious son astray, perverting her darling son Rexon.

Mari Santan, laughs out loudly, the same blood, our own family, what does it matter which brother it is no?

And she winks at Facyll. And here I thought you were docile, ha, ha you have a spark and I love women with spark...

Everyone thinks after all these years a Baby.

Who knows, who cares, and after all there is a Baby at the end of it all.

Here the Director makes the woman very powerful, she wanted a baby and it is her prerogative to have one whatever methods she employs.

Once again, no scenes of crying, of pleading, of recriminations and most of all Sin. Joy pervades the house.

Genres have changed; the woman is now a person in her own right.

And who says we in villages lead boring lives.....?

Glossary

Aghô Milagrin, Khell nachotta mugo, tum  ienam ghô?

Milagrin, the Khell is going on, aren’t you coming?

‘Okhol baie, okhol baie   she shouts out noisily. ‘Inás eila’

Lady Bride..... Inás has come. Strangely even a 50 year old woman is called Lady Bride, if her Mother in law is still alive.

‘Milagrina kitem zalam ghô? Kiteak itleia odlean uloitai ghô?’

Milagrin what has happened? Why are you talking so loudly?

‘Okhol baie, Inás eila’

Lady Bride, Inás has come.

‘Milagrina kitem zai ghô taka?’

Milagrin what does he want?

‘Okhol baie, Inás eila, kiteak teghelo khell nachpak ietolo, aitara dissa, Carnavalak’

Lady Bride, Inas has come, because his khell will be staged on Sunday, for the Carnival.

‘Sim, Maria Luisa, o que é? Porque  estás tão agitada?’

Yes, Maria Luisa, what is it? Why are you so disturbed?

‘Ornelas o Inás está aqui?

Ornelas Inas is here

‘E?’

And?

‘ No domingo vem aqui, com o seu khell, ‘Tuka Muji Niddukai Kiteak?’

This Sunday he comes here with his khell, entitled ‘Why are you envious of me?’

‘Luisa Maria, ele vem todos os anos, sou Regedor dessa aldeia’

Luisa Maria, he comes every year I am the Regedor/Administrative Officer of this village.

‘Ano passado amachucaram as minhas roseiras. A Cardinal e a La France foram salvas pela Jakin mãe. Agora...’

Last year, they crushed my rose plants. The Cardinal and the La France were barely saved by Jakin mãe. Now...

‘Milagrin, Insak sang durga bhair ambea ponak nacchoi mun tegelo khell.

Milagrin, tell Inas to sing outside the yard, under the mango tree

Ani Insak sang zaitim kataram, borim kantaram udoi munnon.

Also tell Inas, a lot of songs, good songs should be sung.

Tem Tappa, tappa zai, mak tem borem disota

That song, Tappa tappa should be there, I like it.

‘Tappa, Tappa korun paper xapota

Tappa, tappa the newspaper is being printed

Sangpa gelear loz disotta

To be told is an embarrassment

Pedrughê cheddum handkan appol vikita

Pedru’s daughter is sitting in Hankan selling apples

Tek choin Anton disco nachotta’

Looking at her Anton dances the disco.

‘Porque é que todos estão a rir Sharon? Se a mulher vende maçãs deve ser pobre não?

Why is everybody laughing Sharon? If the woman is selling apples she must be poor no?

‘Mãe, não são maçãs de comer’

Mother these are not apples to be eaten...

‘Naka Badkara, naka ...’

No Badkara, there is no need...

‘Asdhi rhê, tuvem maka pott bhôr ansoilo’

Go on let it be, you made me laugh a great deal.

‘Nisteak kit mellam ghô?’

What did you get for fish?

‘Okhol baie, ek gharantlim munn kolonk naka?’

Bride Lady, don’t they need to know we belong to the same family?

‘Aghô Milagrin, Inás khell kadta ghô?

Oi Milagrin, is Inas staging a Khell?

‘Oi murê hoddea, eilolo Regedor Bakra sangpak’

Yes, you baldy, had come to inform the Regedor Badkar

‘Avoi, avoi, tesh zalear tum tea baxen’

My, my, that means you are in top form

‘Sangotta!’

Telling me!

‘Oh Mari Santan, borem mugo, tughê Snivi ghello ghô?’

Oh Mari Santan, how are you? Has your son Snivio gone?

‘Oi ghello’

Yes, he has

‘Attam bab etollo’

Now we can expect a baby

‘Babb, padd porunk, amghê goreak gailam, tek anim bhurgem zaina’

Baby, go to hell, hung around our necks, she will never bear a child.

‘Mai ghê 10 rupia dhi mughe’

Mother give me ten rupees.

‘Bhash bor, khorso mughe dorem mukhailo, doldillo’

Get lost; disappear from my sight, you vagrant.

‘Arre khon rhê tem?’

Son who is she?